Publishing your mind

As I said in my very first post, I feel it some ways strange to have people publishing their thoughts in blogs. Because I think a lot and love to write, I was already for long tempted to start this but because I also like to keep my thoughts my own till I know what they are, and am afraid people misunderstanding me, I postponed starting the blog. And even after starting I postponed advertising it to anyone. Yesterday I made it public to people who have my contact address for MSN and a bit before and right after got some comments. A writer needs an audience that listens. Or well, reads. I love to write but not just for myself and that was the reason for starting this. Still since yesterday I have gone through some contradictory thoughts.

How does it feel to be heard by anyone in the world? It should be good, no? But what if anyone of those who hear me can also tell their comments, agree or disagree, like it or not? It is according to my principles to let anyone comment on it, I would not write online if I did not want it to be read by those online.

I guess that is the paradox of Internet. In a way I see it keeps people far from each other: it reduces the times we actually personally are in connection. But it also brings people closer together which I have noticed well enough after returning from Canada. Last spring every Sunday evening we had a skype conference call with my friends who were physically in Finland, Denmark and Canada. It was a huge comfort in the situation where we suddenly could not see each other anymore.

Internet brings people very close to you. It has been said many times it´s so easy to be something else than you are when you do not see the other person. It has caused trouble and bad things and that is why I sometimes avoid it. Also good of course and there are people who live happy together now and would not have ever met without the net.

Back to the blog. I am here now, somehow open to you, telling you some of my thoughts and open for your comments. I like you to tell me how you think, whether you agree or not and that is what makes this matter. But also there is no protection, the only way to protect myself from your opinions would be not say anything here. When I make the decision to publish some of my thoughts, however meaningless or superficial, they are still parts of me which I bring live here and leave them for you. Does that not scare those keeping blogs? Scares me, but as my fellow fighter here said, it is maybe part of the fight over being comfortable within one´s own skin. I am. Also I cannot publish too superficial. It makes it matter.

So welcome and comment on and do not be scared away by this post. I probably won´t answer straight on the comments, at least not for a while yet as it feels a bit too close. Even though giving you some of my thoughts I need to keep the control to which extent I write, and that concerns how much I comment on your comments. But I am here telling my stories and I do love to have listeners and conversation. Which makes me need you.